I'm thinkin' I could use some help

I am not a materialistic person. The last pair of jeans I bought for myself was in January 2007. I know this because my marriage had just ended and I felt like I deserved them. I will buy a shirt every now and then (to wear with those jeans) if it's under $10. One time I found a bin with t-shirts in it at Albertson's and I got 10 shirts for $10. Man, that was a great day and Raleigh hasn't stopped teasing me about it since. Every time I wear one of them... he's all... "I like your shirt, where'd ya get it... Albertson's?" OH... and I was forced to buy stupid maternity clothes last year... but does that count-- really? because wearing them made me cry most of the time. So... no, it doesn't.

And the other problem is I kinda hate shopping. Well, for myself that is. I am the person who says "so and so has outgrown his or her pants. I will run to the mall and get them a new pair" and then I run to the mall sort of in a frenzy and find pants as fast as I can, hopefully at the first store I enter and hopefully on sale and then I run back to the car. I don't have time for shopping and it frustrates me.

Well, on our honeymoon, we did some shopping because Raleigh made me. I found a to die for skirt that I just had to have and it was DIRT cheap and then I found the perfect shoes. They were $30 and THEN they were 30% off of that. I couldn't believe it. I almost wept when I saw them. How could anyone leave them on the shelf for so long that they became 30% off? Well I couldn't. I rescued them from the Honolulu Nordstrom Rack, an island where clearly no one has ANY taste in shoes. I snatched them up. And held them close to me. Oh my gosh they are the cutest shoes I have ever seen. I love them.

And I have NEVER worn them.

If they were black, I would literally wear them every single day. However, they are blue. They are a wonderful shade of blue. It is a beautiful color. In my opinion. But to the makers of skirts and shirts everywhere-- seemingly not a beautiful color or something. Because it's almost been two years since the purchase and I have yet to find ANYTHING worthy to wear with them. I have found several-- slutty like prom dressy-- dresses. I found a cleavage revealing blouse and honestly if I had some cleavage I would have bought it. But sadly...

And so, ladies... and I guess you gents could join in too if you want to... I need you to look around when you are shopping. I challenge you to find a cute, modest skirt for me to wear with these gems. Summer is fast approaching. And IF I can manage not to get knocked up before then, I would love to finally get the chance to don my gay apparel. I am getting desperate. I am shopping challenged. I have a few talents, but that is not one of them. Ask anyone. And a fashion show I am definitely not. So help a girl out, if you can. I'd appreciate it.



I know my legs are white. But if you will excuse me, I was as big as a whale last summer and tanning/wearing a bathing suit/going outside unless absolutely necessary was not really high up on my list of priorities.