To steal a quote from my sister... "It's all fun and games until someone gets pregnant."
Isn't this the truth. I have been trying to figure out why our Heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom has made this experience so ridiculous. When we all die and move on to the heavens above, I hope that we have a big recap meeting where we critique the MORTAL EXPERIENCE and what we liked and disliked about it etc. I will raise my hand very high and say "I enjoyed the mountains of Northern Utah and chocolate but what in the world was the purpose of requiring your sweet daughters who delightfully volunteered to sacrifice EVERY square inch of their bodies to bring precious spirits on to the earth to endure no less than 16 weeks of feeling like poo poo, constipation, unexplained weight gain, uncontrollable emotions, baby hic-ups at 2:00 am, leg cramps, braxton hicks contractions, an overall losing of one's mind, diarrhea, heartburn, bizarre cravings, the feeling of a near stomach explosion, getting kicked in the liver and or spleen whichever or maybe both, not to mention the ribs, back aches, snoring, inability to breathe, brown splotches everywhere, blood tests, acne, night sweats, gas, overwhelming exhaustion, bloating, water retention, never ending trips to the bathroom and complete and utter unsexiness?" While your sons, bless em, feel great.... sure they feel helpless.... but dang it, they feel great. And they look great too.
Don't get me wrong... I am thrilled beyond belief to be having this baby but for the love of Pete, just one day of relief is all I ask. I swear, there was a time in my life when I had some dignity, a time when I felt good about myself, but that time is gone. And there isn't any promise that it will come back. And we haven't even done the horrifying delivery room thing yet. That is certain to bring a story or two.
And so I will now quote my POOR husband, who is confused at what has happened to his fairly new wife and who just yesterday, attempting to be loving and empathetic muttered.... "my goodness, Sweetheart, you are falling apart before my eyes."
Yes my dear, I know and IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!!! And as soon as I can, I will get what I assume will be a decent explanation, or I fear the eternities may experience a female uprising that could go on for a very long time... we women are not only self sacrificers and are as tough as nails but let's face it, as a gender we are MAJOR grudge holders and don't forget when we have been wronged very easily. So while all the men sit there looking and feeling great all I can say is it could be really bad if there isn't a "smooth things over" plan in place. And that plan better be good and it better involve chocolate.
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10 comments:
AAAAAAAAAAMEN sista! from one prego to another i totally agree! we have our ultrasound tomorrow-fun!
It wont be much longer...And you have proven that you bounce right back. Your kids are AMAZING so it will all be worth it. Have your doc take you off work and just keep your feet up. Hang in there little momma You are darling!! xoxo K
Oh Kaci -- I am STILL laughing! What more can I say except I'm sending the link to your blog to two of my preggy friends! Just keep swimmin' babe, and before you know it, you'll have that beautiful baby girl in your arms... But I'm with you -- lookin' forward to some heavenly chocolate! Love ya! :o)
Oh Kac, If I hadn't heard this exact speech from you, in person, on several occasions, I would have been rolling on the floor. You're description, although fairly accurate, paints such a hilarious picture. I'm so happy to hear that things are "going well"!! Hang in there, my little girl, we're in double digits!
Oop's...a typo..."your" not you're.
Well if pregnancy is the answer for that whole list...than I am SCREWED...seeing how I am NOT having a baby!! Explain THAT!!!
We can be bloated, fat, emotional, gas-ous, have rhea, crave odd food, and all the rest together...call me and vent...I tell ya...I HEAR YA!!!
Love you...hang in there sweet sister!
You said it!! It's so funny how amazing and wonderful being pregnant is but at the exact same time how completely miserable I feel 99 percent of the time. There's always something new to "enjoy" everyday! Haha! Atleast we know you can get all skinny and cute after your babies are here...I don't know if I'll ever have such luck!:)
Kaci- If I live to be 1000, I will never meet anyone funnier than you. Is funnier a word? But sadly, you forgot to mention vericose veins, migranes, pelvic checks and maternity clothes. UUUGGGHHH.
HA HA... Maternity Clothes are the best. I love how the makers of said clothes somehow got together as an industry and decided that women who are pregnant lose significant amounts brain function and will suddenly have the uncontrollable desire to purchase shirts with BUNNIES or KITTIES or BOWS on them. Or even worse shirts with senseless wording like "baby on board" or "mom to be." It's like we get knocked up and lose all fashion sense.
Okay so here is the payback. One day you will grow up. Your daughter will be experiencing said things - which by the way can come with old age too!! And you will LAUGH!!! Mostly because you are NOT the one going through it and you get to be grandma AND you can send them back to mom and dad when you get tired!!! I LOVE IT!!
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