In 2002, I had a baby. I had a sweet little girl. I named her Allison. Sometime during my stay at Dixie Regional Medical Center a sinister nurse came into my room and took my sweet little girl baby and switched her with another family's baby. And tricked me into thinking that the switched baby was mine. (I think the reason was because the other family wanted a good baby and they paid the nurse alot of money to switch their crazy baby with mine) And I unknowingly took this other baby home. And I have raised her as my own.
But I have been confused all these years. I raised her the same as my other children and yet... she continues to amaze me with her behavior and "out of her head" antics. And despite all my hard work and sacrifices, I have Allie, a snail collectin', boy clothes wearin', spittin' all the time, yellin' all the time, important teeth missin', misbehavin' tom boy. This "switched at birth theory" is the only possible explanation. My other kids do what I ask, care about my feelings, obey me, do chores, go where they are supposed to and are sweet. And Allie will be the reason that I will end up in the coo-coos nest.
She refuses to wear girl clothes. She won't get on the bus because it is "too big and bouncy". Obeying rules is "uncool". Her teacher is "stupid." Primary songs are "lame". I am "the meanest mom in the whole world". Sleeping is for "little kids". Cleaning up messes "is the mom's job".
I have tried every method, suggestion, rule, tactic and trick that google has to offer. I really need the Super Nanny. And I am not going to lie, I am at the end of my rope. Raleigh says there is one in every family. It keeps the family from getting too cocky. He says even the most perfect families have a closet misbehaver. I refuse to believe this... I swear my good baby is somewhere out there with some other family in St. George doing chores, smiling, saying please and thank you, brushing her teeth, wearing pink, playing with Barbie, sitting quietly, sleeping 10 hours at night and RIDING THE BUS!!! If you see her... tell her that her family misses her.
But I have been confused all these years. I raised her the same as my other children and yet... she continues to amaze me with her behavior and "out of her head" antics. And despite all my hard work and sacrifices, I have Allie, a snail collectin', boy clothes wearin', spittin' all the time, yellin' all the time, important teeth missin', misbehavin' tom boy. This "switched at birth theory" is the only possible explanation. My other kids do what I ask, care about my feelings, obey me, do chores, go where they are supposed to and are sweet. And Allie will be the reason that I will end up in the coo-coos nest.
She refuses to wear girl clothes. She won't get on the bus because it is "too big and bouncy". Obeying rules is "uncool". Her teacher is "stupid." Primary songs are "lame". I am "the meanest mom in the whole world". Sleeping is for "little kids". Cleaning up messes "is the mom's job".
I have tried every method, suggestion, rule, tactic and trick that google has to offer. I really need the Super Nanny. And I am not going to lie, I am at the end of my rope. Raleigh says there is one in every family. It keeps the family from getting too cocky. He says even the most perfect families have a closet misbehaver. I refuse to believe this... I swear my good baby is somewhere out there with some other family in St. George doing chores, smiling, saying please and thank you, brushing her teeth, wearing pink, playing with Barbie, sitting quietly, sleeping 10 hours at night and RIDING THE BUS!!! If you see her... tell her that her family misses her.
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6 comments:
I love Allie and her rebelliousness! She definitely has a mind of her own. How boring your family could be without her. Your blog might be boring without her fun stories. (Not that you are boring at all... but your stories about her make me laugh!!) I'll trade you an "F" word saying 5 year old for her.
I wish I could laugh at your funny blog but all I really want to do is cry!! I've wondered where in the world she came from...and now we know...mystery solved. Now we just have to figure out a way to live with it and her!
That was the BEST blog post EVER!!! I sat in my office and LAUGHED out loud all alone!!
I'll take the F-word saying five year old, pass on Allie...and raise you one NON-Stop mirror lookin crier who can turn on the tears at the drop of a hat and then blames her sore toe!! and one head standing, constant rolling, DS playing, also swearing...clothes OUT-GROWING kid!!
ANY takers???
I am a friend of your moms and just love to visit your blog.Your family is precious! I can totally relate to your challenge as a mom. I think God always gives us one to keep us humble and on our knees. But they grow up! And now my youngest one who was such a challenge always says "Sorry for being such a whipper snapper Mom" My life quote for Chad was Mark Twain "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me but she enjoyed every minute of it" I am so thankful now for a child who colors outside the lines and didnt always follow the rules. He grew up to be amazing & Your daughter will too. Just hang in....XOXO Karen~
Kaci, that was hysterical, but I hope see never reads this blog or you could really be in truble!
Kac, I hope she does read this blog someday, just be sure to show her the picture FIRST and blow it up really big and then maybe, just maybe, she'll understand what she put you through...and laugh!
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