Moustache Mania

When I was a teenager and I found myself bogged down with the weight of the world that seems to fall on teenagers, especially girls, I used to say to myself... I can't wait until I am an adult. Things will be so much easier when I am an adult. I will have an endless supply of money. I will not be afraid to do things. I will be able to drive myself anywhere. I will not have to ask anyone if I can go places or do things. And nothing will bother me.

I will not worry if someone doesn't like me. I will not care if I don't have the latest fashions. I will of course fit in no matter where I am. And I will no longer have to succumb to the never ending battle of peer pressure. I will NOT do things that are out of my character to get friends. I will NOT do things to my body that make me look different just because everyone else is doing it. And if I no longer need to do these things, neither will my friends, or family members or my SPOUSE.

Then why, someone please tell me, why has my husband found it necessary to follow the crowd in his later years? Why is it that some crazy person at work got some cockamamie idea and threw it out there, and all the boys in their dimwittedness (that boys often fall prey to) decided collectively to look as ridiculous as they possibly could all the way until BLACK FRIDAY?

"It will form a male bond", they say. "It's called male camaraderie". And we will sell better and get more business if we fill our store with men who look like child molesters and slimy womanizers.

And so why is it that every morning I have to wake up to the STACHE? I have the cutest husband there is. I enjoy looking at his cute clean shaven face. I enjoy going places with him looking cute. But from now until November 28th, I am going to have to alter my lifestyle so that I can live comfortably with the new entente that has decided to join our household. I am going to have to go everywhere by myself now. I am going to have to sleep towards the right side, looking at the wall and I will have to avoid any eye contact when we are talking to each other because I just know that my eyes will have no other choice than to wander downward and then I won't hear a thing the guy is saying because THAT THING will be all I can focus on.

Peer pressure in it's worst form has come upon us. We have given into it. And it is shaming our family. I'm sorry mom, but he didn't tell me this could be a possibility when he was breaking down his pros and cons before we got married. And, damn it, there is nothing I can do about it now. I am in this thing DEEP. And I am pretty sure that I unfortunately said "I do" to richer or poorer, sickness and health, and stache or no stache. That night was a blur, but I think I did.

And so without further adieu.... I will introduce the newest member of our household...

Wait for it....

Wait for it...

AHHHHHHHH..... And there it is

SOOOOOOOOOOO SEXY!!!